


Your Princess is in Another Castle

by iSaphura



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Zenigata makes a cameo, communication is key, early adventure, i guess lupin/jigen if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21566650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iSaphura/pseuds/iSaphura
Summary: What should have been an easy job goes horribly wrong and Lupin gets caught for once. Jigen has to rescue him. Or... who's rescuing who?
Comments: 15
Kudos: 63





	Your Princess is in Another Castle

**Author's Note:**

> Have you ever seen the video of a guy singing a song called "I have no Fucks to Give"? One, it's an amazing song and you should go listen to it. Two, that is the theme of this story.  
> This is an early adventure, about a year into Lupin and Jigen's partnership. I found it interesting that Jigen seems to know better than to just go in and rescue Lupin without it being abundantly clear the thief needs some help, and figured there had to be a reason for that. Thus this fic. Yes, I know it's similar to The One Who Came Back, so sue me.

Over the years, Jigen had, on occasion, been placed on or accepted assignments that were little more than over-glorified babysitting jobs. A few times it had been a literal baby or small kid. He hated those ones. Most of the time he had to watch over a superior’s significant other or lover or star witness or something. Depending on the individual, those assignments could be interesting. Once he had to watch over a physics professor who gave Jigen an earful for not finishing school and then proceeded to try and make up for all the years he missed in the space of three days. Jigen was sad to see that assignment end. There was another that had found him watching over his boss’s less-than-stable wife. That had been…

Better to not think of that one.

However, not once had Jigen had to ever babysit his own boss. Bosses were supposed to be smart enough to only need bodyguards in dire circumstances. Bosses could hold their own. Bosses demanded respect.

Lupin the third was not your traditional boss. Lupin the Third didn’t need a bodyguard. Lupin the Third needed a fucking babysitter.

The job started off well enough. It still boggled Jigen’s mind that Lupin announced his crimes _before_ he committed them, however, that never seemed to stop him from succeeding. The same could be said for tonight, except Zenigata got the jump on them for once and set up a temporary backup security system that they tripped while entering the vault. What followed was a frantic mad dash to grab whatever gems they could before booking it for the exit… which was blocked off by a dozen or so cops. So they decided to spilt up: Jigen would take most of the loot and Lupin would run decoy. They’d meet up back at the car.

That was not what happened.

Jigen made it out. Jigen got back to the car. Jigen followed the fucking plan. Lupin the Idiot had gone and gotten himself arrested. Inspector Zenigata was over the moon, shouting from the rooftops that the so-called-Great Lupin the Third had been captured at last. The man didn’t seem to care or notice that they weren’t in Japan and nobody had a clue what he was saying during his elated outbursts. Jigen, while in the process of trying to evade capture himself, had only caught a glimpse of a slightly put-out looking Lupin sporting a shiner around his left eye.

Fucking. Dumbass.

So while Zenigata howled in delight and Lupin’s mugshot was taken, Jigen slunk back to the flat they were staying at. He couldn’t stay long. Lupin would never give up its location, but Zenigata was on a roll and Jigen wouldn’t put it past him to sniff the place out. They had a handful of other places around the city, and once Jigen had thrown his stuff and as much incriminating evidence as he could find into a rucksack, he bolted for one of them.

The place he chose was a much smaller apartment in a shadier part of town. It was the kind of setting he was used to: drab-colored walls, worn-out furniture, neighbors who had their own questionable things going on and were more than happy to stay out of yours. Jigen tossed the rucksack of evidence onto the couch and retrieved a bottle of beer from the fridge. There was harder alcohol available, but Jigen didn’t want to drink himself into a stupor quite yet. He needed most of his wits about him, but he needed something to take the edge off his anger and frustration and, quite frankly, fear.

The gunman collapsed onto the sagging couch. A year earlier, he would have been perfectly happy like this. Well, maybe not happy, but certainly content. He was – had been – a solitary creature trying to survive in an unforgiving environment. The world he walked in was a joyless one, and he would take every moment of peace and quiet he could get and store them away so that, when things got rough, he’d have something kind of nice to think about. Maybe trick himself into thinking his life wasn’t _that_ bad.

And then Lupin burst into his life.

As annoying as Lupin was, the gig he had offered Jigen was turning out to be the best he ever had. No smoky-dark rooms, no meetings in locations that were a sniper’s worst nightmare, no offing people on the boss’s whim because they had upset him. In fact, there was markedly less killing. The tradeoff was there was more running. Lupin was like a rabbit, running and darting around obstacles with ease. Jigen was more of… well, he was only slightly slower than Lupin these days, and what he lacked in speed he made up for in stamina. So maybe a horse?

The point was, Lupin was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Lupin wasn’t exactly the easiest person to work with, but he wasn’t the worst. He had his faults, but so did Jigen. Not only had he landed a relatively great gig, with a good boss and good pay, but for the first time in what felt like years, he had gained a friend. More than a friend.

And Jigen was going to be damned if he let that slip through his fingers. He had almost lost Lupin once, he wasn’t about to lose him again.

Jigen switched on the TV and adjusted the rabbit-ears until the picture was an 85:15 ratio of picture to static. Lupin’s arrest was on all five channels. Two channels had dispatched helicopters. All of them had sent out reporters to ambush Zenigata as he arrived at the police station. Jigen pulled out a map and noted the station where Lupin was being held was on the right side of town.

Jigen sighed. He could do this.

In the past, he would have gone in guns blazing. But in the past, he would have been backed up by several other guys with very large firearms. This time it was just him and his magnum. Which meant he would need a bit more finesse.

According to the reporter on the television, Lupin was in the building being booked, but police are still out and about looking for Lupin’s supposed partner. Jigen hadn’t really interacted with Zenigata much at this point and was more than happy to let Lupin hog the spotlight and the Inspector’s attention. This worked out fine for Jigen: the police only have a rough description of him to give to the public. He wasn’t as good at disguises as Lupin, but he had picked up a few tricks from the thief. Jigen pulled out the makeup kit from the rucksack and headed into the bathroom. Time to get to work.

Jigen hated masks. He always had. So when it came to disguises, Jigen preferred makeup. An hour or so later, there was as much makeup on the bathroom surfaces as there was on Jigen. He managed to give himself a nice Mediterranean complexion and altered his jet black hair to have a warmer brownish-red hue. He now sported a mustache to go with his beard; it wasn’t perfect but it didn’t have to be. He just had to get into the building. Finally, he pulled out his very under-used grooming kit and trimmed his beard back into line.

Lupin was by and far better at it than he was, but the man in the mirror was definitely different from Jigen Daisuke. A change of clothes would complete the picture. He didn’t have to look drastically different, just different enough to get in the building.

Disguise complete, Jigen gathered the rest of the things he would need: his gun, extra ammo, three smoke bombs, a spray bottle with knockout gas, rope. He was tempted to grab the roadster from where he stashed it, but decided against it. He was heading into enemy territory, and the game would be up if any cop spotted the yellow car. Jigen had told Lupin multiple times the thing stood out too much, but then again everything about Lupin stood out too much.

Who wore a suit and tie to a robbery? Jigen looked at the pile of his own clothes on the floor and amended his previous statement: who wore a _bright green_ blazer and even _brighter yellow_ tie to a robbery?

So he hoofed it, which probably was in his benefit. The police were looking for a man in a yellow roadster fleeing the scene, not headed towards a police station.

Jigen managed to enter the police station with little trouble. The lock on a side entrance was so pathetic that even he could pick it. No one even gave him a second glance; dressed in baggy jeans and an oversized canvas coat, he was just another member of the janitorial crew. Once inside, he avoided the cops milling about long enough to reach a locker room and snag some poor sap’s extra uniform. It fit him surprisingly well. The holster didn’t quite fit his magnum, but he doubted anyone would be looking at his gun that closely. If all went well, maybe he could keep the uniform and add it to the ever-growing stash of disguises. Jigen found a second uniform that was close enough to Lupin’s size. The kid was scrawny and lanky, not a common combination.

Clothing secured, Jigen made his way towards his next stop.

He found one officer on camera-watching duty. One. Jigen almost laughed; Zenigata would have kittens when he finds out there’s only one officer manning the security cameras. Jigen quickly dispatched the man with a cloud of knockout gas, and propped him up so it looked like he was watching the monitors. He would feel better if he could just steal the tape, but Jigen couldn’t find the recorders. Those must be in another room. He sets up one of the smoke bombs with a timer in the security room, and another in the restroom by the canteen.

Now, for Lupin the Third.

According to the bits of conversation he managed to overhear, Lupin wasn’t the only criminal spending the night in a cell, which had caused some headache because other ne’re-do-wells had to be shuffled around and moved and in a few cases doubled up to create a buffer zone between Lupin and the other prisoners. Fair enough, you wouldn’t want Lupin communicating with the others. The man could instigate a revolt with a single sentence and a wink.

Jigen didn’t have to search the cells, Lupin’s had two posted guards sitting in the hall. Both men looked like they’d rather be anywhere else. Jigen palmed the tiny bottle with the knockout gas and entered the hallway. One of the guards looked up as Jigen approached.

“I’m here to see if either of you want a bathroom break,” Jigen said.

The guards looked at each other, and for a brief moment, Jigen was afraid the ruse wasn’t going to work until one of them shrugged and stood up. The guard stretched and said, “Well it's about time.”

“I told you not to have that coffee,” the other said.

“Meh.”

The guard walked towards Jigen. As he came up next to him, Jigen turned, lifted the knockout spray to the cop’s face, and pressed the trigger. The man spluttered and stumbled backward, but he had already breathed the stuff in. He slumped to the ground as his buddy jumped up in alarm. Jigen turned to the other guard and pressed the trigger, but nothing came out. Jigen swore, tossed the canister to the side, and tackled the man backward. The two slammed into the wall. The scuffle attracted the attention of some of the other inmates.

Jigen got a hold of his magnum and brought it down on the man’s head. The guard went down like a sack of potatoes. He’d wake up with one hell of a headache. Jigen quickly searched the guards for keys and found them on the first guy. He had several to choose from and started trying them out.

“ _Pssst!_ Lupin!”

Lupin was lying on the small cot attached to the far wall. His jacket was gone, as were his shoes. His back was to the door, but Jigen had a feeling the thief’s tie was gone as well. Lupin had enough of them in various hideouts, he could deal with one jacket, one tie and a pair of shoes getting stuck in an evidence locker.

“ _Oi!_ _Lupin!_ ”

At last, Lupin stirred. The thief rolled over and blinked lazily at Jigen, but the feinted drowsiness all but vanished when he realized who was at the door. It was replaced with confusion and… anger?

“Jigen? The hell are you doing here?” Lupin demanded.

“Getting you sorry ass out,” Jigen replied. Finally, he found the right key and the cell door opened. “Now c’mon, we don’t have much time.”

Jigen dragged the unconscious guards into Lupin’s cell while the thief changed. They didn’t have time for Lupin to do any makeup or masks, so he just pulled his hat down low. Jigen re-locked the cell and then tossed the keys into an empty cell, much to the dismay of a guy two cells down.

“You could have grabbed my stuff,” Lupin grumbled.

“Yeah, well, it was either take care of the security cameras or go to evidence. Besides, Zenigata’s probably ripping your coat apart thread by thread.”

“Aw man,” Lupin whined. “That was my favorite coat.”

Jigen felt his eyebrow twitch. Lupin was going to be lucky if he didn’t get out of this building with a second black eye, so help him God. Deep breath, Jigen, deep breath.

They were almost to the exit when alarms started blaring. Jigen swore loudly, grabbed Lupin but the wrist, and ran. Either someone found one of the sleepers, or the smoke bombs had gone off too early. Either way, they had to…

“Halt!”

Fuck.

“Hey, it’s Pops!”

_FUCK._

Sure enough, Zenigata emerged from a doorway and started running towards them. Jigen started to reach for his gun.

“You two!” Zenigata bellowed as he raced past them without a second glance. “With me! We have to make sure Lupin is secure!”

Even. More. Fuck.

“Yessir!” Lupin barked, and started _following Zenigata_.

There weren’t enough fucks left in Jigen’s body.

Jigen’s head started to implode. He was not paid enough for this shit. He should have just left Lupin to rot. The thief deserved as much at this point.

However, this did mean that Jigen had done a decent job with his disguise so… there was a positive.

Jigen turned and followed the other two men back the way they came. His magnum was in his hand. This was it. He didn’t have enough knockout gas left to take out an entire police force. There would be no going back from this, but if he was going to get out of this alive…

“Urk!”

Something grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into a broom closet. Jigen ducked down and spun around, right into the grinning face of Lupin the Third. Lupin held a finger to his mouth and pointed to an air vent with its grate off. They only had a few moments before Zenigata noticed that the two officers from earlier weren’t following him, a few more moments before he realized Lupin wasn’t in his cell, and maybe two more moments before Zenigata realized who he had ordered to follow him.

Jigen dove into the vent. Lupin was close behind and made sure it was secure behind them.

“Take the next left,” Lupin hissed.

Jigen did so. It was dark, but he didn’t dare pull out a flashlight. He found the turn with his hands. Lupin continued to whisper directions from behind him, and Jigen (quite literally) blindly followed them. How did the thief know where he was going?

It was then that Jigen noticed Lupin hadn’t given any new directions in the last few minutes. “Lupin?”

“Jigen, got a light?” Lupin asked.

“You want a smoke?” Jigen snapped. “ _Here?”_

“No, a _light_ ,” Lupin replied. “Lighter is fine, but a flashlight would be better in such close quarters.”

Jigen was thankful it was too dark for Lupin to see the flush of red flow over his face. “Uh, small left-hand pocket.”

He felt Lupin dig around in the bag on his back, followed by a soft “A-ha!” and click as Lupin turns the mini mag-light on. Lupin shines it over Jigen’s shoulder, revealing a dark pit not three feet in front of them.

“Now what?” Jigen asked.

Lupin handed him the light. “We climb up.”

Jigen shuffled forward and shined the light into the vertical vent. The vent went straight up and down, with a few other junctions feeding into horizontal ducts like the one they were currently in. In between those junctions, though, it was smooth metal.

“Are you nuts?” Jigen hissed.

Lupin pushed his way past Jigen, enough to get a look at the vertical vent. “Eh, I’ve made worse climbs.”

“Maybe you have,” Jigen said. “But there is no _way_ I am getting up _that_.”

Somewhere in the maze of air ducts, the ghostly echo of Inspector Zenigata called out.

“You’re going to have to,” Lupin said. “Unless you want Pops to find you here. It won’t take them long to realize where we went.”

“Why not go down?” Jigen asked. “I’ve got a rope.”

“There’s no way out down there,” Lupin replied. “How much rope do you have?”

“Thirty feet?”

“Look, give it to me. I can climb up easily enough, and then I can lower the rope and you can climb up that. We’re on the third floor, so it’s not too far to the roof.”

Jigen gave Lupin the rope and watched as the thief started his accent. The flashlight made Lupin look like a spider climbing into the dark. Meanwhile, the voices of the police officers were growing louder and more frantic. Jigen didn’t like the idea of firing his gun in such close quarters – he was just as likely to deafen himself as he was to hit somebody – but he’d do it if he needed to. Minutes passed painfully slowly until finally Lupin reached his destination and threw the rope back down.

The rope was too short.

“I can’t lower it anymore,” Lupin called down. “Not if you want it properly anchored.”

Jigen looks down the duct they just crawled through. He groaned and stood up as much as he possibly could, just grabbing a hold of the rope. He pulled himself up, and as soon as his feet leave the duct he is spinning. His feet scrambled for purchase to steady himself, and once he found it he started to climb.

It felt like hours had passed before Jigen finally reached the top and Lupin pulled him out of the vent. The fans weren’t on, the temperature inside was about the same as it was outside for once. It was a nice night. Jigen wanted it to be over. Now it was Lupin’s turn to drag him along. Luckily, Jigen could still run; climbing was a different matter altogether.

“I’m going to guess you didn’t bring the Mercedes,” Lupin said.

“Nope,” Jigen replied.

Lupin sighed. “Okay.”

He led Jigen across the roof to the back of the building. There was a ladder down to a mid-level, and beyond it, on the ground level, Jigen could see a few parked squad cars.

As if his night couldn’t get any worse.

The two fugitives led the police on a merry chase through the city for a bit before ditching the car rather spectacularly off a dock and into the East River while they ducked into a sewer. They emerged several blocks later close to a new safe house. They were going to have to leave the city, but that could wait until it was light out and they both didn’t stink to high heaven.

Jigen tossed his bag onto the beat-up couch and sighed. “Okay, I call shower…”

A second later, he was staggering backward from a punch to the face. He felt a few drops of blood drip from his nose. “What the _FUCK_?”

“Why’d you bust me out?” Lupin shouted.

“Excuse me?” Jigen spluttered.

“Why’d you bust me out?” Lupin repeated.

“You got arrested!”

“I was fine.”

“You were in jail!”

“I had it under control!”

“Under contr…” Jigen blinked. “Wait, did you get arrested _on purpose_?!”

“Well yeah,” Lupin replied as if it was the most logical thing in the world. “Once Zenigata got me, he wouldn’t be so focused on you. I figured I’d spend the night, and then bust out and meet back up with you in the morning. I'm not some damsel in distress, Jigen, I can take care of myself.”

“And you didn’t think to _**TELL ME THIS** **BEFOREHAND**_?” Jigen roared.

Lupin opened his mouth to give a scathing reply, but a look of realization washed over his face and he closed his mouth with a soft _snap_. “Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_ ,” Jigen snapped. “Fucking Christ, I put my ass on the line to get you out and turns out it was your plan all along to get arrested. You want me to call Zenigata? I can get you back in there real quick. I ought to turn you in, that reward on your head has probably skyrocketed after tonight.”

“No, no, it’s not worth it anymore,” Lupin sighed. His shoulders slumped in defeat. “You go take a shower.”

Jigen stormed off towards the bathroom. At least they had picked a place that _had_ a shower and hot water. The water in the tub turned an odd brownish color as the makeup ran off of Jigen. Twenty minutes and all the hot water later, Jigen exited the bathroom and beelined it for his room. Lupin was nowhere to be seen, but Jigen heard the water turn on and a few soft curses warble out of the bathroom a few minutes later.

Was it petty of him to use all the hot water? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes again.

Clean, mostly dry, and warm, the gunman got dressed and flopped onto the bed, ignoring the squeaks of protest from the old frame as it threatened to give out. He could leave. He hadn’t told Lupin where he left the loot or the car. He could grab those and just leave. He was also in New York, he hadn’t burned _all_ his bridges when he left. Someone would hire him… or take him back.

Except, Jigen didn’t want that. He didn’t want to go back into the world he left behind a year ago. The people standing on the other side of his burned bridges were still out there, and once he reared his head in his old circles, they would descend. Lupin wasn’t a perfect shield from them, but he offered some protection from those who would otherwise seek revenge.

So, in theory, Jigen could leave. In practice, however… it wouldn’t be fun.

The bed squeaked again as Jigen flopped onto his back. He had put up with a lot of Lupin’s antics over the past year, but the stunt he pulled tonight had to take the cake. Who _did_ that? Who in their right mind would get arrested _on purpose_? Other than Lupin the Third, he was a statistical outlier and did not count. When Jigen saw Lupin being hauled away by Zenigata, it felt as if his world had turned upside down. Lupin was uncatchable, he had a plan for everything, how had it gone wrong? Jigen was the clumsy one compared to Lupin, how was it Jigen’s plans had gone right and Lupin’s went wrong?

Because it didn’t go wrong. It was Lupin’s plan. Which Jigen messed up.

No, he didn’t mess up. He had done the logical thing. Maybe he acted prematurely, but that was because Lupin would only be held in one place for so long. Zenigata wouldn’t wait for the ink to dry on the transfer papers before whisking the thief away, leaving Jigen behind to fend for himself.

_“It’s not worth it anymore...”_

Jigen frowned. What wasn’t worth it anymore? It made sense that Lupin would have planned out his escape from the police station, that was why he knew his way through the air ducts. But he could have just as easily not have gotten caught. There had been plenty of times in the past where the two of them had run into a similar problem: cops closing in, escaping together was out of the question, and every time they split up they both made it out and met back up at the predetermined spot. So why, or rather what, made Lupin decide tonight that he was going to get caught?

“That son of a bitch,” Jigen growled

Jigen got to his feet and walked back to the bathroom. Despite the lack of hot water, Lupin was still taking a while to get clean. Jigen leaned against the wall outside the door. He could wait. He had little patience left at this point, but he could wait for this all night.

Finally, the water turned off. Jigen readied himself. He’d only get one chance at this.

Lupin opened the door.

Jigen lunged forward.

Lupin didn’t know what hit him.

Jigen wrapped one arm around Lupin’s neck and the other around his right leg. He then twisted Lupin’s right leg around his left. Lupin squirmed about, tugging at Jigen’s arm in an attempt to free himself.

“Ji… gen...” Lupin wheezed.

“Why did you really get arrested?” Jigen demanded. He shifted the hold and Lupin whimpered as his limbs were tugged in opposite directions. “Tell me!”

“L’me… go...” Lupin thumped on Jigen’s arm.

“Not until you answer me.”

“Jigen… Jigen, my… towel...”

If somebody had told Jigen a year earlier that one day he would have his naked boss in a body hold, demanding to know why said boss had gotten himself arrested on purpose, Jigen would have laughed in that person’s face and asked what they were smoking, and if he could have some.

“Tell me!”

“Okay! Okay!” Lupin gasped. “Your file!”

Jigen let go, and Lupin collapsed to the floor, coughing and spluttering. The thief gathered up his fallen towel. Once it was back in place, he glared up at Jigen. “I tracked down the master copy of your police file. I was going to steal it and give it to you for your birthday.”

“My police file?” Jigen asked.

“Yeah. But now they’ll probably move it since we’ve broken into and out of that station,” Lupin grumbled. “It would have been fine if you hadn’t shown up.”

“Don’t pin this on me!” Jigen shouted. “Look, going forward, I will assume that, if you get caught, you have a plan. But I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I don’t expect you to tell me everything, but going forward I would _appreciate_ it if you told me _ahead of time_ if you are going to pull a stunt that is going to take years off my life, got it?”

Lupin nodded.

“Got it?!”

“Yes!”

Good.” Jigen nodded, then frowned. “I never told you my birthday.”

“You wouldn’t have had to if I had gotten your file,” Lupin mumbled. “Wait, was I close?”

Jigen threw his hands in the air and started to walk away. “I’m going to bed.”

“So it is close!” Lupin said. “Is it coming up? Did it just pass?” He gasped. “We should have a party!”

“If you throw me a fucking birthday party I _will_ shoot you.”

“No, you won’t. C’mon, Jigen, I plan the best parties!”

“Fuck off, Lupin.”

“When was the last time you had a birthday party?”

“I’m going to bed, Lupin.”

“But _Ji-gen_.”

“Good night, Lupin!”


End file.
